I am seriously in some sort of withdrawal from Spring Awakening... I just have 8 wonderful memories of 8 brilliant days where I spent a day in London wandering around, exploring new places I've never been, spent hours in the National Art Gallery wandering and staring at beauties, and even revising for hours in a nearby Starbucks, and watching the Spring Awakening matinee show... only once did I attend an evening show and that was closing night and that was magical in its own right.

I just miss it so much. I keep listening to the Orginal Broadway Cast soundtrack, and more importantly, recordings of the London Cast which is just so awesome and feeds my addiction so well that it makes me miss them even more and makes me gagging to go see the show again. Even though it's closed.

I'm still sad and bitter that it closed early. I was going to take all, and I mean, all of my friends to see Spring Awakening while it was in West End, and show just how brilliant it was. In the summer, after exams all ended and so people are free.... but noooo.... the economy and the strange west end audience's lack of enjoyment out of this genre of musicals made this show close early. It is just so sad for us, the audience who have seen and loved this, making them into squeeing fangirls, and the ones who have yet to see because it couldn't even hold out over Summer where I'm sure the audience attendence would grow. And for the actors as well. It's such a short run for them, having this falseness where they were supposed to be on until October but having to leave their wonderful roles behind prematurely. Charlotte Wakefield (Wendler) youtube goodness feeds into my addiction once again, and so does her tutorial of the Touch Me dance was so good! I now know how to do it! I am such a geek! lol.

But I miss the thrill of sitting in the front row, and the stalls, the thrill of seeing it live, the thumping of the music, the beat and the bass flowing through me in unison with the music and the dancing, the lyrics, the singing, the dancing, the jokes, the acting... I miss it all. It makes me want to cry thinking about it again.

I know from this, it kinda shows how much of a problem I have, I have such an addictive personality and I get attached to things so freaking easily. But memories that the one time when I had stage seat next to Melchior, and after Totally Fucked and a very very long applause, Jamie Blackley (Hanschen) lost his straight face and let this loud little giggle through and that was the cutest most funniest thing... it's memories like these that makes me not care how much of a geek I am for this little obssession of this little musical...


Hello everyone. I am Lisa and I am a London's Spring Awkening addict.

( pics under... )( pics under... )( pics under... )

Dude. The pics from the filming in Italy seen today are hot. HOTness and a bit more hot. Hotter than hot pics. The scene where Bella sees Edward and jumps at him and convince him that it's really her? That scene... oh it's made me pretty giddy...

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These are only the majority I think, spanning the past couple of weeks... the result of extreme procrastination from revision and sleep. It's a little disturbing how many fics I read, especially how many long fics...

(something freaky's happening with the lj cuts... it's creepy and bizarre and looks strange...)

( Twilight fics... )


( Charmed fics )


( Dollhouse fics... )

hmmm, exam tomorrow, and I'm reading smut, not even panicing a little bit. This can't be normal.

So my mum just came in and complained and ranted about her really really long phone call from my brother, who moved back to HK a couple of years ago and is 10 years older than me. With the ranting, I came away with 3 main points which is just plain funny, and strange and kinda horrific really (to me anyways):

1. He's complaining on being completely broke. This would be a fine complaint, normal for most people I know, but from him is just ridiculous, because he has no common sense what so ever. He's been redundent for the last 3 to 4 years, living mostly off my father and credit and his girlfriend. And within that time, he also spends a ridiculous amount of time and money going out socialising, with his friends who happen to be mostly from wealthier backgrounds, and so he's just too proud and has to spend a great amount of money going out clubbing, karaokeing, dining, gaming... that's just the begining of this thread but I'll stop here for now.

2. I'm the most controlling person in the family, because everything I do is right (according to me). HA! I wish. I'm not saying that I don't think that a part of me isn't, I know that everyone in their own way controls and contributes to a family, however much they might not want to or even know that they do, I happen to be the latter. I'm just not perceptive enough to see these uncounscious feelings, or power and control issues, or little things. I tend to look at the big things overall and have no idea something's happened until it has happened for a long long time. It's pretty amusing actually, it's a running joke at work and I happily laugh along.
I do happen to try to do alot of right things, for example, I'm very proud of the fact that I haven't ever ODed in any of my cards, I work a weekend job most of the year, and I save a very small amount which I end up using for my own pleasure like going to Egypt on my own a couple of years ago, and buying a new fridge for home. I'm not good with the finance in my life, but I'm not too bad either cos I get student loans and bursury. Which is a lot more I can say than my brother. I haven't ever asked my parents to help financially, they occassionally offer a small amount once in a while (which is always nice), and I still come back home every weekend because my mum is here so she doesn't feel too lost and lonely without both her children and extended family. So I'm a little self-righteous, who isn't? But I'm hardly controlling! HE's the boy and the eldest in the family so my dad automatically has to support him in most ways, and any inheritence would go straight to him because I'm sure that's what my chauvinistic father would probably want and that he hasn't got a will. Idiot. Who in their right mind wouldn't try and make sure their wife and two kids and his brother are taken care of at least a little? Well, that's another story altogether.
So in the end of this point. Who holds all the aces in this game of life?

3. My brother and my father are both completely the same in every jack-assy way. Yup. That's about it.


Sorry, but I just have to vent. And the fact I'm very very good at avoiding do we remember? Still hiding from revision and exams. And I'm attempting to scare myself with the fact that the first exam is a week away. 8 DAYS. I wonder if it's working...

Also, I think I'm sort of depressed about the fac that I'm depressed about my being depressed if that makes any sense... Also figured out that listening and thinking about Spring Awakening - which is my new musical obsession - makes me that much more depressed/numb, but I can't stop listening to the album, the songs are stuck in my head, the music are too entrancing. I'm not sure if the musical is making me feel this way or if I'm imposing this feeling on the musical in my head. Damn me for trying to over-anaylse anything slash everything in my head in the most unuseful way possible.

Right. 8 DAYS. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

x

There's a couple weeks until exam starts now. And I'm on this slush of revision where I'm on the internet reading fanfics, or youtube, and occasionally I would revise cos I'm a littel bored or I feel bad enough that I should revise. Not the best strategy I know, but at least I'm doing something I guess.

Somehow though, I started thinking why I like something and why I don't like something. For instance, yesterday, I was washing my hands and I began thinking how much I adore white fluffy things. Random? Sure, but why not? lol. Anywho, I was thinking how much time I spend lathering up until I have an entire handful and more of white bubbles. And when I do the washing up, I use a fair amount of washing up liquid and squeezing the sponge often enough for the consquence of a sink filled with bubbles. In this way (and many others I'm sure), I'm a complete kid. I just find something that's so pure, light and silky so soothing, like everything is right with the world again. I love clouds, and swirls, though in the latter form, I'm quite happy for it to be as colourful as it likes, or as dark as it likes. In this way, I'm completely obsessed with Van Gogh's Starry Night, and this other one that's a field, and big tree on the right and gorgeous bluey green sky with white clouds in completely entrancing swirls that I can't remember the name of.



Strangely enough, I don't like cotton wool though, it's just too synthetic, and had bad experiences with it when water and glue was added to the equation.

Back to the matter at hand, I'm studing Sociology 2nd year, modules of: Sociology of Everyday Life (Sociology), Work and Society (Sociology), and Sex and Gender (Anthropology). Now, I've focused mostly my revision on Sex and Gender because I missed the most lectures out of all of these, one reason because it's at 9am and that's just too early for me to even be conscious enough to know my name, and second, the lecturer is just very dry in her delivery, it's engaging I guess, but there's just too much flatness in there that I can't seem to get over, and thirdly, I just hate the people in that class. There are seminars afterwards where we're separated into groups then a little discussion/debate would happen. But it is really hard when some of the poeple in there are just so thick and have views that I once nearly start an argument with. These are seriously strange and thick people who always seem to travel in packs. Now. I was revising and writing up the lecture slides and I'm thinking, I quite like this module really, the subject were interesting albeit sometimes I feel uncomfortable thinking about (I never realised how sensitive about certain things I can get) like women working abroad in the service sector, or circumcision. These are things that I try to avoid as much as possible becasue I hate the world and human race enough already without knowing explicitly how cruel, greedy and inhumane people everywhere can be. But none the less, I enjoy learning the subject, contributing to my views of feminism nicely.

I really enjoy the lectures of Work and Society, that is one lecture that I really enjoy, having only missed one when I was attempting to write an essay that as due the same day which ended up being overdue anyway, and another one that was a mock exam, which, well, as I'm sure everyone knows by now, I'm very good at avoiding things especially when I don't know that I want to avoid them. Anywho, now revising the material, I realised how boring the material actually is, it is a boring subject about people working, how work as evolved and working conditions and practices have changed, for the better in theory, but hey, expoitation is expoitation, and capitalism is capitalism whichever way people and multinational corporations arrange things.

Wow, that's a downer of a post.

On another note though, I'm thinking I gonna have a list of books (written/typed out so I don't forget), mostly are classics and some I've read already but just begs me to read it again. A small list to begin with, and I'm sure another post of a full list and more will be here soon for me to want to read...
Angela Carter, William Blake, Jane Austen, A Room with a View, Tennyson, Dickins, Heidi, Brave New World, Margret Atwood, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Son of a Witch, Affluenza, Marx, Jung, Where Rainbows End...

    It's just so yummy that I can't help myself!

10:48 am now. So it got too loud to do any work last night at all so I went home round 10, at which point I decided I printed some stuff off and wanted to work back in my room. Yeah. That went well. (sarcasm) Anywho, at least I woke up early, had some breakfast - which is I meal I tend to ignore - and got to the library and wow, it is so nice here in the mornings! I got a nice semi-private pc area, right at the back and the back walled windows allowing the sun through, which I have to say it's a lot of light and it's blinding me a little, but it could just be because I'm still half asleep plus the fact that I'm kinda like a vampire. But other than that, it is also quiet! Oh the happiness... I'm kinda concentrating more, though I do take lots of quick breaks reading fanfics cos I didn't read much yesterday and kinda in withdrawal! ha!

essay wordcount: 273/2000

edit 10:58: Ha, straight after that, I read a little one-shot and giggled, in a library. *hangs head in shame* I have such little amount of brain function... (wordcount 290/2000)

edit 11:07: Getting sentences out is hard, and choosing which stats to use as evidence is hard... this is so not the time where my indecisiveness if amusing.

edit 11:46: Wordcount 411/2000, I'm getting into the essay, I actually know what I want to write now, but putting that down coherently in writing is hard. Especially when the next person next to me is listening to music loudly and not doing work what so ever... I hate people, I have to say, my misanthropy is either staying the same or expending, it depends on my mood and who the surrounding people are.

edit 12:35: Wordcount 515/2000, Wooohoooo! Legally Blonde the Musical is coming to the West End in December to The Savoy! Happniness is me, as happy as i can get right now anyways! hehehe chickflickmusical! hehehe.

edit 13:12: Wordcount 683/2000. God! I've got an hr and a half to finish the essay! Crap! Though I did have lunch of crackers and water, so at least I wasn't slacking off ALL of the time. He. Better get a move on!

edit 13:39: Wordcount 808/2000

Well let's seewhat's going on at the moment...

I've got an essay due in today and I haven't done it, not even typed the title into a word doc. And I'm now back on campus without my laptop with hopes of me concentrating to do it, so i can get it done with less distraction. Though I have to say, I forgot how much I hate people and at the moment, people at uni in particular. They're all just so in-your-face, arogant, and act like they own the earth...

Ahhh... life sucks.

Also, since I've no laptop at the moment, I'm at the library, which for the first time in this year, it's hot because the weather's actually really really nice out. And since it's a uni library, they think that air con and better ventalation is not a good idea apparently, especially when the nice warm weather months are also the months which people actually use the library all the time, and by that, I mean from morn till the next morn and has the most footfall... I'm actually struggling to breath, feeling like I'm suffucating...

Right, I've got about 7 hours till the library closes at 2am, then till 3pm until the essay has to be handed in... I'm gonna try and get to work now while suffucating at the same time while surrounded by arrogant and loud 20 somethings....

edit: okay... hayfever plus headache does not help with concentration... not that that's the biggest problem... how is it that I have no concentration what so ever?!

edit 19:46: Well let's see, 1, 2 or 3 hrs in (depending on when the clock of work actually started), I at least got a plan of some sort of the essay. That's an improvement I guess.

edit 21.26: After a short break on the internet, and a small bite that probably considered as dinner, I now have a small paragraph! Wow. This is taking WAY too long, and how the library gets busier and louder with people further into the night I have no idea... it's getting way too stuffy and the air outside was so good! I need oxygen!!! (wordcount 163/2000)

edit 21.47: My ipod has ran out of battery and it doesn't charge on library computers, people are still loud, and concentration is just damn hard! (worrdcount 186/2000)

edit 22.02: My hatred of the human race is growing exponentially. (workcount 234/2000)

                    
( Charmed fanfics... )

I've been planning on posting here, but I'm getting so distracted these days from my new obsession of Twilight fanfics! lol. You know when you first step into a fandom and then there's just a period of time when you are completely obsessed about it and want to read anything possible? Now is that time for this fandom. Wow. It's amazing really, I've even put off facebook, and I guess most importantly, my essays and revision of exams next month!

Fanfics are too damn addictive for their own good...